Missing Persons

What if you woke up one morning and found yourself in your greatest nightmare: your child is missing. You search frantically. You scream. You sob. You beg. You bargain. There is no trace. There is not clue. You have no place to begin. Your daughter's face appears on a billboard; your son's face is on a milk cartain. All you want is for his, for her face, to be back home.

Your child doesn't have to turn up missing to be gone from your life. Many children shrink from our lives for want of positive strokes, for some unconditional love, and for some affirmation. In our want to provide "better lives" for our children, sometimes we might be ruining their opportunity to search, to learn, and to try and fit in?

We learn "You are saved by grace, through faith, this is not of yourselves it is the free gift of God so that no one can boast." The thief on the cross got a free ticket to paradise. The woman caught in adultery got passed by the angel of death and an angry mob pelting stones. 1 Corinthians 13 says, "Love is patient and kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it keeps no record of wrongs." There is a temptation, however, to add to all of this: "But you, my dear, need to work harder; you need to try harder; you are not doing enough." What if you went to church 3 times a week, knew David and Goliath forward and backwards, but never really heard you are forgiven; I love you; I accept you? All you ever really heard is how bad you were? Or how bad the world was? Would you want to come back? Or would you turn up missing -- and then to hear that you are the one who went astray?

Do you think there are children who grow up almost the best at everything but feeling the worst about everything? To say "I love you" and "I accept you" does not mean much if those same words are followed by disappointment over unmet expectation: You did not live up.

Let me share something with you gently. Let's come along side of each other and help each other. I like to say "If you want someone to know Jesus, talk about Jesus." In the same way, if you want a child to know good things about themselves, tell them! Let it fly! Tell them you love them, how proud you are, how much you think about them. Ask a child about their day? Ask about their interests. If someone has a tonuge ring, ask to see it! Why not? Ask about a tattoo. I promise you, an average child who knows he is loved and treasured will be a happier child then the one who is tops in everything but afraid of failing for fear of disappointing you.

Dont' get me wrong. I think it is awesome for a child to get good grades and to work hard and to do their best. I just don't think its the worst if they are not. I think children want to fit in. I think children wanted to be treasured and loved. I think children want to be forgiven when they fail. I think they will test the boundaries once in a while -- and see if you still love them. And to see if you would really, really miss them if they were gone.

You know what? I love you. Hokey, eh? But I really do. I love you. I miss you. I like you. And I miss you when you are gone...See you on the mountain.