I received the following letter this week from a young lady. I am ommitting only identifying features and changing the name she gave to "Susan." It got my attention and has caused me some wondering and pondering. I wonder what you think? I wonder what you would say? Please take your time in reading this, and only read it if you are open to listen and to be considerate of her plea. Thank you.
Who am I?
My name is "Susan" and I am a resident of [a place nearby]. I have a well-seasoned religious background. My maternal grandpa is a Baptist preacher who traveled all around the lower Midwest for decades preaching the gospel, hellfire and brimstone, the cross, and the word, which we Christians know to be different messages in and of themselves.
My paternal grandfather was head pastor of a Pentecostal Assembly of God church which -- for most of the formative years of my childhood -- I attended a minimum of three times a week. I also graduated from a private Baptist university, where I received more of an education on the historical and political aspects of our religion.
The problem? I feel, most of the time, like an bother when it comes to my religion. Yes, I am firmly rooted in the traditions of my church. My diet growing up was plentiful with southern gospel music, church camp, and the monikers of brother so-and-so and sister-what’s-her-name. I tend to try to lean towards the good in my actions, generally not just because it’s the right thing to do, but also because – dammit -- I just can’t shake the feeling that Jesus is watching me. And in that – dammit – is the problem.
I am not what some would consider to being a good Christian. By this, I mean a few things. First, I am extremely liberal. I’ll explain this more in a moment. Second, I cuss like a sailor and I am okay with that. Finally, I have this habit of questioning everything men in authority try to convince me I need to believe. I play the devil’s advocate intentionally and purposefully. To me, ignorance is not bliss. The problem simply stated is that I feel like I am the only Christian in the world who is okay with being this way.
The Cause? So why should this be a problem, progressive Christians will ask. There is plenty of room in our church for people of all kinds! Well, the cause of the problem I am feeling is simply the notion that seems to prevail that my actions and beliefs are sinful and thus must be corrected. Even if you are not all about changing me overnight, I still understand from my upbringing that someone in your church will be trying to chip away at me and make me conform. When I come to church on Sunday and tell you that my husband is Agnostic, you will strategize a way to convert him. When I defend pro-choice citizens, you puff up like a marshmallow peep in a microwave and either spend the next 10 minutes railing on me or you walk away, having made a decision that we can’t be friends. When I use that word (you know, the 4 letter one) during dinner, you look at me like I have stabbed you in the shoulder. Your reaction to me is the cause of my problem.
The Question? The question I pose in this letter is simple. Is there a church out there that will really, truly accept me? Just as I am? Without making any attempt to change me? Is there a church that will embrace me as me, that will not ostracize me or isolate me, that will not take efforts to make me feel sub-standard because I support gay marriage? If I disagree with what the Pastor has instructed us to do, will I be given a forum to express my beliefs? Or will you do what all those churches do and simply expect me to be a sheep and follow blindly what another sinner has recommended for my life? Does such a church exist? I would really love to find one.
The Solution? I have spent the last three years praying every night that God would send me my church. The one that is the right fit. The one that doesn’t mind me being very political and having mostly anti-conservative values. Because even though I disagree with you, I don’t want to change you. All I ask is for the same in return. I wonder if I am being so unreasonable in wondering if this church exists. I wonder if there are other people out there who are just like me? Who have come to question the judgmental ethic of the church but miss the camaraderie and tradition. I am tired of waiting for this church to find me, and this is why I have written this letter. I am trying to be proactive in finding my home.
If your church has a place for me and others like me, please step up.
"Susan"
My name is "Susan" and I am a resident of [a place nearby]. I have a well-seasoned religious background. My maternal grandpa is a Baptist preacher who traveled all around the lower Midwest for decades preaching the gospel, hellfire and brimstone, the cross, and the word, which we Christians know to be different messages in and of themselves.
My paternal grandfather was head pastor of a Pentecostal Assembly of God church which -- for most of the formative years of my childhood -- I attended a minimum of three times a week. I also graduated from a private Baptist university, where I received more of an education on the historical and political aspects of our religion.
The problem? I feel, most of the time, like an bother when it comes to my religion. Yes, I am firmly rooted in the traditions of my church. My diet growing up was plentiful with southern gospel music, church camp, and the monikers of brother so-and-so and sister-what’s-her-name. I tend to try to lean towards the good in my actions, generally not just because it’s the right thing to do, but also because – dammit -- I just can’t shake the feeling that Jesus is watching me. And in that – dammit – is the problem.
I am not what some would consider to being a good Christian. By this, I mean a few things. First, I am extremely liberal. I’ll explain this more in a moment. Second, I cuss like a sailor and I am okay with that. Finally, I have this habit of questioning everything men in authority try to convince me I need to believe. I play the devil’s advocate intentionally and purposefully. To me, ignorance is not bliss. The problem simply stated is that I feel like I am the only Christian in the world who is okay with being this way.
The Cause? So why should this be a problem, progressive Christians will ask. There is plenty of room in our church for people of all kinds! Well, the cause of the problem I am feeling is simply the notion that seems to prevail that my actions and beliefs are sinful and thus must be corrected. Even if you are not all about changing me overnight, I still understand from my upbringing that someone in your church will be trying to chip away at me and make me conform. When I come to church on Sunday and tell you that my husband is Agnostic, you will strategize a way to convert him. When I defend pro-choice citizens, you puff up like a marshmallow peep in a microwave and either spend the next 10 minutes railing on me or you walk away, having made a decision that we can’t be friends. When I use that word (you know, the 4 letter one) during dinner, you look at me like I have stabbed you in the shoulder. Your reaction to me is the cause of my problem.
The Question? The question I pose in this letter is simple. Is there a church out there that will really, truly accept me? Just as I am? Without making any attempt to change me? Is there a church that will embrace me as me, that will not ostracize me or isolate me, that will not take efforts to make me feel sub-standard because I support gay marriage? If I disagree with what the Pastor has instructed us to do, will I be given a forum to express my beliefs? Or will you do what all those churches do and simply expect me to be a sheep and follow blindly what another sinner has recommended for my life? Does such a church exist? I would really love to find one.
The Solution? I have spent the last three years praying every night that God would send me my church. The one that is the right fit. The one that doesn’t mind me being very political and having mostly anti-conservative values. Because even though I disagree with you, I don’t want to change you. All I ask is for the same in return. I wonder if I am being so unreasonable in wondering if this church exists. I wonder if there are other people out there who are just like me? Who have come to question the judgmental ethic of the church but miss the camaraderie and tradition. I am tired of waiting for this church to find me, and this is why I have written this letter. I am trying to be proactive in finding my home.
If your church has a place for me and others like me, please step up.
"Susan"
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4 comments:
To Jeff on the Mountain: I read with great interest the letter from Susan. Boy, do I ever identify with her. While I am not "pro" homosexuals, abortion, etc. I do not believe that the way to change their way of thinking is to preach at them, censor their speech, etc. If anything, that approach would just drive her further from the Father and Son who love her so much. Would she be comfortable where I go to church? I don't know. But I personally, would love to have her in a give and take classroom where both liberals and conservatives could be open enough to listen and not judge other viewpoints.
Aunt Maggie
This person is struggling and searching. God is working in her life. I pray that God will lead her to the church that will accept her and that this church will be her new family and just be able to love on her.
Jeff on the Mountain: I have read Susan's letter and I pray with her as she searches for a Church home. There is one out there for if one asks it will be given, if one seeks they will find and if one knocks the door will open. Over the past several years my wife and I have moved several times and each time we began a new search for a new church family. This has not been always been a comfortable search, but if I could give Susan some news that will lend itself to keeping up her hopes it is this. It will take time, but I believe God is preparing a church family for you as much as he is preparing you for that family. I agree with aunt maggie I would love to have her in a classroom for open discussion and fellowship. See you on the mountain.
Big A -- you have a gracious spirit. You write for Susan. You respond to Auntie Em. But you know what? You touched me. You have made me feel "welcome." You give me hope. You have encouraged me. Today, in your honor, I am going to affirm one person. Affirm -- is that what the Big "A" stands for? It does to me...
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