Sammy

She was one of those girls that didn't always fit in. I can't tell you why. She wasn't any more awkward than any other 14 year old girl wanting to fit in. But she didn't.

Maybe its a momentum thing. You know, like when everything goes right it goes right? And when everything goes wrong, well it goes wrong. That's the way it seemed for Sammy.

Sammy was an o.k. student. She struggled in pre-algebra, but not terribly. She liked English the best, and particularly writing. But whenever she had to get up to read her essays or poems she felt like no one was listening.

Sammy did make the volleyball team and that was cool. But most of the girls played together on a club team so she never really felt like part of the group. She overheard them all talking about a party that was coming up. It was clear that she wasn't invited. She didn't know how she felt about this. She didn't really like parties that much anyway. But still she wondered why she wasn't invited. Why was it that she just didn't fit in.

One day Sammy caught my attention. I can't tell you why. She just did. For whatever reason on this day I looked at this girl, pleasant enough in every way, but a girl who didn't seem to fit in. I asked the question in my heart that she must have asked herself everyday: What is the matter? Why not?

I wondered what it must be like to be so lonely, or so all alone. I wondered what it would be like to wander around the lunch room looking for an empty chair but really wanting for someone to holler, "Hey, Sammy! Come sit with us!" If it's a drag being picked last for sports teams what does it feel like when no one wants to be your lab partner in biology.

I started to wonder why a person like Sammy might be the way she is -- why she might lack confidence or that positive and healthy energy that attracts good and fun attention? Why doesn't Sammy fit in? Is she ill in some way? Did something bad happen in her life to steal her joy? Were her parents divorced or having troubles? Had she been abused somehow? Does her dad have one of those jobs where people say bad things about him? Did her family lose their house in a fire or something like that? Why?

Then something else came to me: Maybe it doesn't matter "why" Sammy is the way she is. Who cares why Sammy is the way she is. What really matters is that Sammy, just like me and everyone else I know, would like to fit in; to have friends; to be included. I wondered what it would be like if I, or anyone, just walked up to her and said, "Hey, Sammy. Join us for lunch?" Or "Hey, Sammy, how was your week-end?" Or "Hey, Sammy, a bunch of us are studying history together and then going out for some ice cream. Come along?" Or "Hey, Sammy, I really like your outfit today, or your new hair style, or whatever."

And so I would! I would walk right up to Sammy and invite her to join us for lunch -- the next day! I even talked to some friends about it. They agreed that would be a cool thing to do. They also agreed they had wondered, too, about Sammy and why she didn't fit in. Tomorrow was the day.

But tomorow never came. Sammy moved away. I don't know where she moved. I don't know what she is doing. I hope wherever she went she is happy and that she fit ins. I hope she married and has great children. I hope she is a part of a church where she is always welcome. Greater than great sermons, and great hymns and great prayers, I pray that every week when she walks in someone walks up and says, "Sammy, how's your week? What's going on? Sit with me today?"

I am sorry, Sammy. I am sorry it took so long to notice. It is a small consolation, but I am trying to learn. I am trying to open my eyes. I am trying to open my heart. I am trying see people just the way they are. I fail. Maybe if you are reading this, and you know me, you would say I am failing you. But I would like to learn; I would like to do better.

Here's a mountain man challenge: Will you join me. Let's look for people today. All people. Let's step into people's lives. Always have a question or two of interest for people you meet. Ask people their names. And if you forget, ask again. Look people in the eye. Smile. Include people in what you are doing. Give people the opportunity to say "No thank you." But never leave people wondering, "I wonder why I wasn't invited."

Thank you for climbing with me. I am safer knowing you are with me. When I fall you are there to catch me. I also enjoy your company. Jeff on the mountains.