The monthly meeting of the Stillwater Project met this last Thursday. The Stillwater Project is a "think tank" of excellent minds gathered to discuss social dynamics and concerns. The goals of the Stillwater Group is to master positive character qualities and foster them among themselves and others of the community. Past projects were focused on Respect and Responsibility. This month's focus was"Caring."The discussion began with a presentation of "The Rule of 32." This is an exercise that puts people into the role of innitiative and caring for others. "The Rule of 32" encourages that individuals have at least 3 questions of concern for for someone else and at least 2 statements of interest if someone should ask a question of you. "The Rule of 32" insists upon interaction. Interaction is the first step of Caring for others. When we care for others we see them; we realize them; we engage them; we interact with them. "How are you?" "Where are you from?" "What do you enjoy?" are some ways to demonstrate you Care. As well, if someone asks you anything be able to respond with a comment or two that is genuine, sincere, and transparent. "I am doing great!" "I just got back from a business trip." "I enjoy my 7th grade English teacher very much!"
We then discussed people of our community who would benefit from Care. What we learned is that everyone benefits from Care -- from every child in your class, to your teacher or pastor, your coach, the checker at PriceCutter, and you name it. As well, if not moreso, the Stillwater Group specifically mentioned those who are homeless, those who are unemployed, those who are from other countries -- Africa, Mexico, and Asia, those who are in nursing homes, those who are injured or ill, someone whose parents just got divorced, someone who recently lost a loved one, and someone who is lonely. The Stillwater Project determined that if somone is walking through a lunch room looking for a place to sit what they are really looking for is someone to say, "Hey, come sit with us!" Giving someone a chair is not caring. Sitting with someone is.
The Stillwater Project then moved into parallel and companion terms of Caring. These are their conclusions:
- being loving
- being helpful and giving help to others
- showing compassion for others
- showing interests in others
- seeking to understand -- walking a mile in somone else's shoes
- being kind
- being nice
- listening
- being considerate
- being respectful
- putting the needs of others before your own
There you have it. You will recall the creditials of The Stillwater Group: They are 13 year olds at a local middle school. They are openly and earnestly discussing life changing and world changing qualities. Leave the degrees on the wall. Forget the thesis and term projects. The Stillwater Group is doing it. They are putting character education to the test and they are at the top of the class.
Here's the mountain man challenge: Sit at the feet of the Stillwater Group and see what you can learn from them. Whoever you meet, wherever you meet them, always have three questions of interest followed by two statements of your own. Look around and see who will benefit from your Caring interest. Forget the politics and religion. Forget who has and who has not earned and deserved your conditional kindness.
Care; truly care.
Thanks for the coffee and the time together. You are awesome people. I love you very much. Jeff on the mountains.
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2 comments:
Last Sunday I witnessed the most powerful & beautiful example of caring that I have seen in quite some time. It's Thursday and I'm still deeply thinking about it. You would have thought so too, had you been watching. Our pastor was leading a group discussion on "risk-taking" in reference to the giving we all do with our time, talents, & treasures. Pastor shared that "fear" is a major reason why we all hesitate to take risks. Several offered up different fears...fear of rejection, fear of failure, etc. One man bravely kept his hand up until, prompted by his wife (because he just didn't see him) Pastor called on him. Michael spoke. Pastor intently listened. We all listened. Pastor cared. We all cared.
Michael lives with a brain jnjury. And Michael has a lot to say. He knows about fear. He knows about risk-taking. It was beautiful to see him immersed in a caring environment ultimately designed and modelled by our pastor. We love you Michael.
Thanks for writing how to care. Thanks for showing how to care. Thanks for caring. Truly caring.
Love ya Mountain Man.
Momofteam's comments reminded me of an incident I witnessed while visiting our daughter's church. They have a young man--perhaps 30--who has down's syndrom who works as their custodian. This was on a Sunday--he was very neatly dressed, clean shaven and hair combed back. People were milling around in the narthex before service began. One of the men dropped a tissue on the floor and didn't notice it. But our young custodian did. He politely but firmly pointed it out and reminded the man that 'this is God's house and we have to keep it nice for Him.' The gentleman in question, looked, bent down and picked it up and apologized to the custodian. What a testament that was to me. Of course, his friends had to give him a hard time but they all complimented the custodian for doing a fine job.
Speaking of taking risks--I would never have had the courage to point this out to a fellow congregant. I know me and I would have probably just left is lay there. I suspect most others would do the sme.
But the young custodian was correct. It is God's house. It needs to be treated with the greatest of respect.
I admire that young man. I've seen him 2-3 times since and he always seems to have his eyes open for scraps of paper. Bulletins left on the pews, coffee cups not disposed of properly, etc.
What a courageous young man. And what a beautiful congregation to give him the opportunity to minister and witness. I love that church and congregation. Wish I could visit more often.
Mountain Man, you always seem to bring up the most provocative subjects. Thank you so much.
Write on!! :)
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