Lost and Found

Dedicated to those you love who are sometimes lost and hard to find.

Being lost is a hopeless feeling. You don't have to be deeply lost or lost for a long time before you wonder if you will be found. A small child just one aisle over from his mother in a grocery store will scream in panic. In the 1996 tragedy on Mt. Everestt some of those who perished were found within a stone's throw from shelter. Being lost is a hopeless feeling.

When you are lost it doesn't matter how you got lost. It doesn't matter if the error belongs to you, or someone else, or the conditions around you. When you are lost all that matters is the heroic efforts of those who search to find you.

Like those lost in the woods or on a mountain or in a grocery store are the lost souls around us. These are dear people who lose their way. They become separated from hope, direction, and those who love them.

These lost souls can be overlooked by those around them. They can go unnoticed by the best of churches, pastors, and people. They can go unnoticed by faithful and caring employers and workmates. They can go unnoticed at the local pub and the local gym. They can go unnoticed at school. Has anyone seen Jim? No, not in a while....

The lost may continue to function for a while. Even someone stranded on a mountain can survive. But in time and panic a person can make unhealthy choices. Crying out to be found a person can step right over the edge. Some simply "check out." John Krakauer's book "Into the Wild" tells the true story of a disallusioned young man who perishes in his self-absorbed pondering.

In the end it doesn't matter how a person becomes lost. All that matters is the heroic efforts of a person like you to find the soul who needs to be found.

You, dear friend, are a good shepherd. You search for lost sheep. You are relentless. You are persistent. You search until you find. The question for you is not how a person got lost. The question for you is how you will find him; how you will reach him; how you will invest in his soul. The question for you is how will you see him better, hear him better, and sense him better. No one will go unnoticed on your watch.

Let's rope up together, you and me. Let's rope up and search for those who are lost. It doesn't matter how they got lost. What matters is how we, together, will find the lost and help them back into a warm and caring community. Write someone a letter of encouragement and hope. Call someone on the phone and let them know you are thinking of them. Give someone an unexpected gift. Pray. Say kind and good things about others. Invite people to join you. Never let people sit alone -- unless they want to. Listen. Smile. Dry a tear. Put away your watch and take some time.

I am found when I am with you.

Jeff on the mountains.

Climbing Higher

Climbing a mountain is no easy fete. It is not for the weak of heart of the ill prepared. Climbing a mountain is all uphill. It is fraught with obstacles and adverse conditions. The unexpected is around every corner. More people stop and turn around than those who ever reach the summit.

Life is not so easy either. Life, like climbing a mountain, is not for the weak of heart of the ill prepared. There are obstacles and adverse conditions. There are unexpected events and circumstances every day. There are times when you simply must sit down; take a rest; and call out for help. Its o.k. if you take a breather or turn back. That's called being wise on a mountain. No sense taking unnecessary risks. There is no shame in knowing your limitations. Stay roped together. Climb with those who are wise and prudent. Be prepared to catch those who stumble or fall.

Abraham had to climb a mountain. I am speaking Abraham the father of many nations and fellow patriarch with Isaac and Jacob. In old age God blessed Abraham and his wife, Sarah, with a son, Isaac. Then, when Isaac is entering manhood, God tells Abraham to take his son Isaac to the top of a mountain and sacrifice him there. There's a thankless climb.

But Abraham trusted God. Today, leadership is based upon the vision of the one leading. Leadership is knowing what you are doing and where you are going. But Abraham didn't know what he was doing. He may not even have known where he was going. But Abraham trusted God. No complaint about the task ahead or the climb at hand. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Better than knowing what you are doing or where you are going is trusting that God does.

On the way up the mountain Isaac asks the obvious: Father, the fire and the knife are here; but where is the lamb for sacrifice? Ah, sweet innocence. It is always easier to sacrifice someone else's lamb, isn't it? But when it is your own lamb, or your own pride, or your own way, or your own direction, then sacrifice gets difficult. God will provide, Abraham replied. Somehow, someway, God will provide.

When Abraham and Isaac got to the top God said, "Abraham, do not harm the boy." When Abraham looked up he saw a ram stuck in a thicket and available for sacrifice. God had provided. There's a view from the summit: God is in control. God provides. Always.

You are not alone on the mountain. Jesus, the Lamb of God, climbed Calvary for you and me and with each of us, our needs, and our hurts heaped upon His back. Plenty of obstacle. Plenty of adversity. He could have turned back. But He didn't. There on the top of the mountain God sacrificed His only Son, His pride, His Joy and His delight for all. In that perfect moment God reconciled the world to Himself. If you stumble or fall, Jesus is there to pick you up.

Here is a mountain man challenge: Trust God. Give Him the lead. Let Him take hold of you. And when climbing with others, give them lots of slack. We're not here to point out when people stumble and fall. We're are here to help them to their feet. Be positive. Be hopeful. Be an encourager. Climbing mountains is hard wor. So is life. Help each other to the top.

I love you. Jeff

Iron Men

Greek mythology recounts the story of Atlas holding up the world. What would it look like if daily we were holding up each other? Can you see yourself carrying the burdens of a weaker brother or sister? Can you see yourself listening more and talking less? When someone stumbles or falls -- or completely blunders! -- can you see yourself coming along side with mercy and forgiveness?

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." It is a beautiful image of a similar truth, "Two are better than one for in them is a greater return for their work." It doesn't really matter how well any of us can do it alone. We are designed to do it together. As iron sharpens iron, we sharpen each other. We make each other stronger; more hopeful; more able. We do it in an environment of mercy and encouragment. When one stumbles the other is there to pick him up. When one is cold the other is there to provide warmth and protection.

The greatest joys of another are our joys. And they can be simple joys, too. They can be trivial joys. We are happy for you. We are not jealous or envious. If you get a new car, or new home, we are happy for you. If your son or daughter or grandchild makes the team, we are happy for you. Hey, if you get a tattoo or navel piercing, we want to see it! We are not looking or expecting anyone else to be any better than what we are at our worst. We all want to fit in and be accepted.

And the greatest sorrows of another belong to us, too. No matter how big or how small. We are not here to tell you to get over it or to get through it. One day or a thousand, if you are hurting we are hurting with you. We want to listen. We want to walk with you. We want to hold you up.

Isaiah 64:8 says, "But you, O Lord, you are the potter. We are the clay. We are the work of your hands." Notice the object of God's shaping: We are. God is molding "us" together. He does not mold us into individuals. He molds us into a community in His image. As the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are One, so are we. We are one, the work of God's hands.

From time to time we are going to fail. We are going to drop the ball. We are going to drop you. We are going to drop each other. Make no excuse. Don't bother defending yourself. Humbly say, "I am sorry." Ask for forgiveness. We are here to carry you, too. It happens. To all of us. We live in a community of hope. A community of mercy. A community of peace. We sharpen each other. We hold each other up. We are here to make people feel better about themselves and closer to each other.

Here is a mountain man challenge. Will you join me? Call someone on the phone and see how they are doing. Don't be nosy. Don't pry. But ask how things are going. Ask about their family. Ask about work. Listen. Drop a note in the mail. Tell someone you are thinking of them. Try new language. Say "I love you," and mean it. Say "I am thinking of you" and do. And if by circumstance you have dropped the ball, maybe you have hurt someone you love, go see them face to face. No email. Not even a phone call -- except to make a date. Go see them. It might be hard. You might have to humble yourself. But cross the bridge. Allow the other person to share his or her hurts. Make no excuse. Don't explain yourself unless they ask you to. Then look them in the eye. Say "I have hurt you. And you are somone I love. I am sorry. Will you forgive me." It can be hard. But I am here to hold you up.

Thanks for climbing...I love you very much. Jeff

The Stillwater Project: Attitude

The monthly meeting of the Stillwater Project met this morning. The Stillwater Project is a think tank of seasoned veterans of character, its understanding, and how it is best fostered in the lives of others. Our task this morning was Attitude.

One can hardly say "attitude" without then ascribing to it adjectives of "good" and "bad." If you have a bad attitude then well meaning others will come to your assistance by announcing and encouraging "you should have a good attitude!" Well, that makes sense -- but it is about as accessible as heighth is to a short person. Can you imagine saying to a short person, "You should have a taller body?" So why would we say to someone with a "bad" attitude, "you should have a good one?" Maybe we could learn something of character by learning why a person's attitude is "bad." Or maybe, it is not so much a "bad" attitude as a "hurting" attitude.

You will remember that the Stillwater Project is a class of 13 year olds at a local Middle School. They live in the trenches of reality. I imagine daily that someone in this group is being told to adjust his or her attitude. "You should be happy!" Or something like that. I opted for a different route: "If you were hurting, what would make you hurt? Tell me the top 5 things that come to your heart and mind." Know what they listed?

The Stillwater Project: Attitude

Top 5 things that make you hurt

• Death of a loved one (half the class had experienced the death of a loved one in the last 6 months)
• Divorce (half of the class had experienced the divorce of parents)
• Parent in the Service and away from home (one quarter of the class had experienced this)
• Moving (only a few had ever moved in their life)
• Someone hurting your feelings (all had had their feelings hurt)
  

We learned that instead of telling someone to have a good attitude it might be better to find out why they have the attitudes they do.

Did you know that some 200 of the world's best climbers have perished on Mt. Everest? It is true. World reknowned athletes. But in certain conditions even the best cannot go on. It is not that they were not strong enough, or good enough. But strong and good as they were, they could not master the conditions. Maybe death or divorce can seem like carrying 40 lbs on your back at 26,000 feet. Telling a young person to "have a good attitude" probably doesn't cut it. But it might help if you came along side to help carry their load.

Rather than discussing "What is a Good Attitude" the Stillwater Project discussed what would be ways to assist someone with a more hopeful, or healthy attitude. In mountaineering terms, how might you carry someone else's attitude, or lighten their attitude or come along side? Here is what they came up with.

The Stillwater Project: Attitude

How to Carry the Attitude of the Person you are Climbing with

• Listen more, talk less
• Ask questions but don't prior or be too nozy; give people "space."
• Telling someone to have a good attitude does not work!
• Spend time with the person who is hurting
• Do something that he or she likes to do -- go to the movies, go out to eat
• Show interest
• Look people in the eye
• Admit if you don't know what to say
• Say "I'm sorry" -- not for doing wrong, but because they other person is hurting
• Ask what would be helpful.

We reached new heights. This is an amazing group of young people and I am honored to be a part of it. They allow me to rope up with them and I feel safer on the climb. We hike once a month. You are always welcome to join us.

Here's a mountain man challenge: If you see someone with a "bad" attitude don't be too quick to tell them to lighten up. Come along side. Listen to what might be hurting. Help to carry the load.

Climbing with you,

Jeff on the mountains.

New Beginnings

Let's take a hike, shall we? Let's take a hike on a trail we have never hiked before. It is a hike, however, that we have heard is very beautiful. There are beautiful vistas and an incredible waterfall at the end.. Let's pack up the pack -- but bring only the essentials. We don't need to pack extra weight. We may need to leave a few things behind. We want to lighten the load.

The first step is in a new direction. That is the reality of taking a hike. You cannot go someplace new and remain where you are at. With each step you take you get farther and farther down the road. It is not necessarily easy. You may even need a little coaxing. You might be tempted to turn around. But don't give in too easily. We're here for each other, o.k.? You encourage me. I'll encourage you. Maybe there will be others on the trail, too, urging us on. "Its worth it," they say.

Allow me a little metaphor, o.k.? I think it is time for a new beginning. I think it is time to take a hike. I think you will be blessed by a change of scenery. I am not talking about running away or throwing in the towel. I am especially not talking about going off by yourself. Not at all. But I am talking about starting over. Getting a fresh start. Forgiving yourself. Giving yourself permission to be you. Taking your own time. Doing it your own way. Not in a selfish way. Not in a reckless way, either. But also not in a way that is burdened and weighed down with the expectations of others, or what you have been led to believe everyone else -- even God -- expects of you.

I recently went on a hike with someone I love. We didn't finish the trail, per se. But we did come to a great destination: We sat down on a log in the woods, ate a sandwich, and had a glass of wine in the pouring rain. It was awesome. It was better than a mountain vista or a waterfall -- and I loved both of those immensely. We were together. We were not consumed by life's concerns or problems. We were not consumed by judgements and unmet expectations.

What I envision for our hike is a pack that is filled with only the essentials...no heartaches from last year...no pent up angers....no disappointments.....no burdens and judgements of what you should have done, or should not have done. I want to say something gently -- not in any official or superior way. Just as a friend. As someone who loves you. Someone who cares for you. Someone who would gladly carry your pack for a while. You are forgiven -- not in the sense that you have done something wrong. But in the sense that I care about you. You are a blessing to me. You make a difference in my life. I would not want you any other way.

You are a good husband. You are a good wife. You are a good parent. You are a good child. You are a great member of the church. You are a great student. You are a good member of the team. You make the band sound better. You make a difference in other people's lives. You do. You make a difference in my life. I like who you are. I like that you are on the trail with me.

I like it when you carry my load. Today, I would like to carry your load. I would gently, humbly, graciously like to help you to put some things behind you and to press on toward what is ahead of you. We may need to stop and rest a bit. We may need to sit down and cry. That's o.k. I am up to it. You may want me to listen. But if you will allow me, I would like never to go away. I would like to stay roped up with you. I would like to finish the journey together.

If you will allow me to be close, I was wondering....

• What is your biggest goal in life right now and how can I help you with that?
• What are your greatest satisfactions?
• What would you like to do before you die?
• What do you think is your greatest purpose?
• Tell me about a dream you are having?
• In what way can I be a better friend?

I love you -- and I am trying to learn to listen.

Jeff on the mountain.