The Stillwater Project: Courtesy

The Stillwater Project is a monthly meeting of sharp and innovative thinkers. They gather to discuss changing times and culture. Their focus is fostering character qualities that change the world. Today's project was courtesy.

The Stillwater Project is a group of 25 thirteen year olds. They don't busy themselves with idle theory and the way things "might" be. The Stillwater Project speaks in absolutes and the way things are. The Stillwater Project tells it like it is. It is worth listening to.

The Stillwater Project has been meeting for 6 months now. They have discussed Respect, Responsibility, Honesty, Caring, Attitude, and now Courtesy. The Stillwater Project asserts that these characteristics are first cousins of each other. Each character trait tempers and shapes the next. What they mean is that Honesty means little if it is not tempered with a Caring heart; Respect means little if it is not shaped by a Courteous spirit.

Asked what Courtesy means to them, the Stillwater Project sited all the character traits discussed to date and added some others too. Here are the results:

The Stillwater Project:

Courtesy

• Respectful
• Honest
• Caring
• Responsible
• Kind
• Polite
• Listen more than talk
• Thoughtful
• Putting the needs of others before one's own
• Being Generous
• Giving
• Looking people in the eye

The Stillwater Project then put the term to the test by roll playing. Two of the group staged a dialogue while a third joined the group. The third was friendly and engaging, but the two ignored her. Then, in the scripted scenario, one in the group responded to a cell phone call and ignored the other two. The Stillwater Project then assessed the circmstance with the following suggestions of courtesy:

• Make others welcome
• Smile and engage newcomers
• In most situations, do not receive cell phone calls or text messaging when you are talking with others, in class, or at a dinner table (it was noted that there may be exceptions to this rule especially if you are expecting an important call from your parents, etc.)

The Stillwater Project concluded with some light and spirited banter. Ultimately, being courteous is putting the Golden Rule into Practice: Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Here's a mountain man challenge: Rope up with a 13 year old and take a walk on the wild side. Step into life and the real world. Don't talk about the way things used to be. Find out how they really are. If someone has a tongue ring, ask to see it. If someone has a tattoo, tell them how nice it looks. Show some interest in others. Not everyone is the captain of the football team or a straight A student. Find out about people. Listen more than talk. Look people in the eye.

See you on the Mountain. Jeff