On Forgiveness

On Sunday a bomb went off at church. It was not the usual bomb -- you know, someone you don't like, the choir singing terribly, a horrible sermon, or all of the other unforgivables that wreck our day and make us ask why we go to church at all. No, it was an actual bomb.

A young adult group was making pancakes for the new member reception. Someone had forgotten an aerosol can of PAM on a hot griddle. It exploded and blew a hole in a stainless steel refrigerator. In a miraculous way it missed everyone standing in the crowded kitchen. If it had hit someone we can only presume it would have killed them -- afterall, the refrigerator is in pretty rough shape. It was a real mistake. It was a real blunder. But you know what? No one was killed. God's hand was on us. God was there. Forgiveness.

Every day bombs go off all around us. Like the aerosol can of PAM left on the burner people make mistakes. They forget things. They say things they shouldn't. They do things they shouldn't. It makes a mess like a hole blown through a stainless steel door. These are blunders and gaffs that rub you the wrong way, get under your skin, annoy you, frustrate you, and even anger you. In most instances, no one is killed. God's hand is on us. God is there. Forgiveness.

Good Friday long ago a bomb went off. An angry Jewish mob sold Jesus over to an unsympathetic Roman guard. People lied about Jesus. They hit him. They slapped him. They spit on him. The actions were deliberate. You couldn't say they were accidents or mistakes. You might say the people didn't know what they were doing. I wish I could say no one was killed, but someone was: Jesus was killed. Gruesome nails blew holes right through Jesus' flesh. A spear blew a hole through His side. Rejection and disdain blew a hole through His soul. Yet God's hand was upon Jesus. God was there. Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the chief work of God in the lives of His people. Forgiveness is the miracle God uses to mend relationships. Forgiveness is God's way of healing the hurts caused by mistakes, gaffs, and blunders. God puts His hand upon us. God is there. God forgives.

Forgiveness is also the treasure God gives to you and me to share with each other. Forgiveness is something we cannot do on our own. Forgiveness is the one thing God commands us to do by His grace: "Forgive as you have been forgiven."

Forgiveness takes place when God's hand is on us. Forgiveness is where we learn to keep life and circumstances in perspective. Forgiveness is where we learn to say, "Thank God no one was killed." Blunders abound and mistakes mess things up. But no one was killed. God's hand was upon us. God is with us. Forgiveness.

What are some things that get in the way of our forgiveness? What throws our circumstances out of perspective and what takes our eyes off of God's forgiveness of us and His command for us to forgive?

• An over personalization of the offense. For instance, the bomb at church was terrible mistake wrought with many human errors. But no one intended for it to happen. This does not justify the event. But it keeps it in perspective. Often times the things that offend us were never intended to offend. Again, this does not justify the matter but it does keep it in perspective. Sometimes people, their manners, and mannerisms are more a matter of who they are, their generation, and their culture. We need to lighten up.
• Escalation: This is where the given offense is escalated. The offense is given negative energy and attention. This most often happens when we dwell on the matter. It is amplified when we talk to others about it again and again.
• A pre-occupation with self: Ultimately, a lack of forgiveness is born in an angry, jealous and envious heart. Unforgiveness takes place when we see ourselves as victims or those who have been done wrong. Unforgiveness happens when we are consumed with how we have been treated unjustly and unfairly, or when we feel out of control of a situation.

So, what might be helpful in learning to forgive? How might we work together? How might we partner together? How might we "high five," cheer, and encourage each other towards a deeper understanding of God's gift to us and our gift to each other?

• You must know Jesus. True forgiveness can only take place in the knowledge and certainty of what God has done for you. You must know again that through the perfect life, death and resurrection of Jesus you are forgiven. This is God's free gift to you and to all people. Through God's forgiveness your failings, gaffs, blunders, honest mistakes, and even malicious offenses are washed away.
• You must know yourself forgiven. You must quietly, humbly, and graciously look in the mirror of God's grace and say, "No one was killed." God's hand is upon you. God is with you. You are forgiven. God keeps no records of wrongs. God is not shocked or bothered by you. God wants to be close to you and His forgiveness removes all that separates you from Him.
• You must know God commands and expects your forgiveness. This may be tough to hear. If you expect your child to do his homework and he mows the lawn instead you will not be completely pleased. There are many things that are done in churches and among God's people. They are all fine and good. But what God most wants of you and me is for us to embrace in faith the forgiveness and peace He gives through the death of His son. God expects our forgiveness. He expects us to look more to Him than to the offense of others. He expects us to take hold of Him and let go of the things that offend. You might say, "No one was killed. God's hand is on me. God is with me." Forgiveness.

Here's a mountain man challenge: Let's rope up together. Let's help each other. Forgiving others is tougher than climbing a mountain. But forgiveness is made possible in the graces of God and when we work together. Forgiveness takes good communication. It takes practice. It takes effort. Perhaps our greatest forgiveness is for those who are unforgiving. But if our goal is to reach the summit together -- and to leave no one behind -- we may have to leave ourselves and our pride behind. We look at people in their hurt. We look at people in the complexities of their lives. We walk a mile in another person's shoes. We look at life from another point of view: God's hand is upon us. God is with us. We are forgiven.

Thanks for teaching me. Thanks for climbing with me.

Jeff