The Stillwater Project met this morning. The Stillwater Project meets the first Thursday of every month to discuss character traits and how to foster them in ourselves and others. The Stillwater Project is made up of sharp minds tempered in the school of reality. The Stillwater Project is 25 thirteen year olds --each with his and her own observations of life and its circumstances. I am learning it is better to listen than to postulate with sterile theory. Like climbing a mountain, it is better to let the stronger and the more able take the lead. Our task today was the character trait of self-discipline. I was there to learn and to let them get me to the top of the mountain.
What I learned is that self discipline is very closely related to self control --and not so related to punishment at all. Self -discipline includes training, hard work, and being able to say "no" to oneself. Self - discipline has to do with the choices that one makes before actions are taken. Punishment, on the other hand, is a negative response to a bad choice or behavior. If I break a rule, if I am not "disciplined," than there may be consequences that include punishment -- like being grounded, for instance.
Athletes, musicians, and those who are involved in school activities and clubs all know something about self - discipline. Each of these activities require boundaries and rules. Volleyball without rules would be chaos. Music without rules would be nothing but noise. Student council without rules would get nothing done. Self - discipline works well with other learned character traits of responsibility, caring, and courtesy.
Self - discipline governs our actions in relationship to our emotions. If I am self - disciplined, if I am in control of myself, than I am less likely to react and respond to the circumstances around me in negative ways -- even if my feelings are hurt or if something does not go my way. When I am self - disciplined I am in control of myself, my actions, and my emotions. This is not to say that I do not have feelings. It is to say that that my choices are governed by my self - discipline and not my emotions.
We read a story called "The Martyrdom of Andy Drake." It is a sad story and all too true about a boy in fifth grade who does not fit it. He is different than the other boys. Andy tries desparately to follow the rules of acceptance but he is not accepted. He is made fun. His family is made fun of. The narrator of the story finds himself caught up in the momentum of the negative treatment towards Andy. He knows it is wrong. He doesn't feel good about it. But he is not self - disciplined. He cannot say "no" to himself or to the crowd. In effect, he and the crowd say "no" to Andy. Until Andy just disappears. He drops out of school. Andy is punished for the lack of self-discipline of those around him.
A hearty discussion followed. There are many reasons a person may not fit in: Their looks or their race; their personality and how "cool" they are or are not; their economic status and the clothes they wear; how good they are perceived at sports, music, or schooling; and sometimes merely the arbitrary choosing of the crowd. The Stillwater Project acknowledged that it is a tempting momentum to follow. Many in the class acknowledged that they had been part of shunning others. Shunning others is the result of not being in control of our selves and our relationshiop to the crowd. Shunning others is the result of saying "no" to others and not ourselves.
We discussed how each of us, in control of ourselves, could do our part to reach out to others and do what we could to make others welcome and a part of the group. We discussed how each of us in control of ourselves could make someone else's day better and brighter. We discussed ways we call could practice this. It takes hard work; it takes practice; it takes self - discipline.
Here is a mountain man challenge: Take the lead from a 13 year old. Stop trying to control the world around you and others, too. Start trying to control you. Practice your own good discipline. It takes hard work and practice. It may even mean saying "no" to yourself, and at the same time saying "yes" to people around you. Go out of your way to help someone else fit in. Reach out to someone you don't usually talk with - someone at church; someone you work with; someone at the gymn or golf course you hang out at. Invite someone to join you in your pew or for lunch. Don't resign yourself to your own "shynesss." That's merely a lack of control, isn't it. Say "no" to you and "yes" to someone else.
See you on the mountain. You make my world a little brighter. Jeff
What I learned is that self discipline is very closely related to self control --and not so related to punishment at all. Self -discipline includes training, hard work, and being able to say "no" to oneself. Self - discipline has to do with the choices that one makes before actions are taken. Punishment, on the other hand, is a negative response to a bad choice or behavior. If I break a rule, if I am not "disciplined," than there may be consequences that include punishment -- like being grounded, for instance.
Athletes, musicians, and those who are involved in school activities and clubs all know something about self - discipline. Each of these activities require boundaries and rules. Volleyball without rules would be chaos. Music without rules would be nothing but noise. Student council without rules would get nothing done. Self - discipline works well with other learned character traits of responsibility, caring, and courtesy.
Self - discipline governs our actions in relationship to our emotions. If I am self - disciplined, if I am in control of myself, than I am less likely to react and respond to the circumstances around me in negative ways -- even if my feelings are hurt or if something does not go my way. When I am self - disciplined I am in control of myself, my actions, and my emotions. This is not to say that I do not have feelings. It is to say that that my choices are governed by my self - discipline and not my emotions.
We read a story called "The Martyrdom of Andy Drake." It is a sad story and all too true about a boy in fifth grade who does not fit it. He is different than the other boys. Andy tries desparately to follow the rules of acceptance but he is not accepted. He is made fun. His family is made fun of. The narrator of the story finds himself caught up in the momentum of the negative treatment towards Andy. He knows it is wrong. He doesn't feel good about it. But he is not self - disciplined. He cannot say "no" to himself or to the crowd. In effect, he and the crowd say "no" to Andy. Until Andy just disappears. He drops out of school. Andy is punished for the lack of self-discipline of those around him.
A hearty discussion followed. There are many reasons a person may not fit in: Their looks or their race; their personality and how "cool" they are or are not; their economic status and the clothes they wear; how good they are perceived at sports, music, or schooling; and sometimes merely the arbitrary choosing of the crowd. The Stillwater Project acknowledged that it is a tempting momentum to follow. Many in the class acknowledged that they had been part of shunning others. Shunning others is the result of not being in control of our selves and our relationshiop to the crowd. Shunning others is the result of saying "no" to others and not ourselves.
We discussed how each of us, in control of ourselves, could do our part to reach out to others and do what we could to make others welcome and a part of the group. We discussed how each of us in control of ourselves could make someone else's day better and brighter. We discussed ways we call could practice this. It takes hard work; it takes practice; it takes self - discipline.
Here is a mountain man challenge: Take the lead from a 13 year old. Stop trying to control the world around you and others, too. Start trying to control you. Practice your own good discipline. It takes hard work and practice. It may even mean saying "no" to yourself, and at the same time saying "yes" to people around you. Go out of your way to help someone else fit in. Reach out to someone you don't usually talk with - someone at church; someone you work with; someone at the gymn or golf course you hang out at. Invite someone to join you in your pew or for lunch. Don't resign yourself to your own "shynesss." That's merely a lack of control, isn't it. Say "no" to you and "yes" to someone else.
See you on the mountain. You make my world a little brighter. Jeff
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